If there is a warm center of the universe, I must be furthest from it. Living with my Uncle Ben has become intolerable. Today, I was supposed to go with my friends to Hascchi station to get power converters, but Uncle Ben, that fat fuck, made me work on those fucking droids! Not only that, but he told me that I wasn’t allowed to submit my application for the academy until the next fuckin' harvest! I wish he would quit pretending he was my father!! I am so fucking sick of these motherfuckin’ moisture evaporators!!!We did get two new droids for the harvest today. The first one is a 3PO unit, gay. The R2 unit is a feisty little fucker, he claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does he mean that wacko from the sex offender notification, Ben Kenobi? Anyway, the R2 was playin’ this video of this fuckin’ hot bitch, who I would love to "stick my saber" in, begging for it from this Bro, Kenobi. I asked him to play the rest of the vid because i was still yankin' it, but instead, he fucking runs, and i had to settle for a 3P0 HJ. Anyway, I got to find that Trashcan before Uncle Ben finds out he’s gone. After he found that bag of spice in my drawer he has been such an Asshole!
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